I Know Nothing About Betting But....
The new year is here. As we begin the long journey into 2014, today Greg Theoharis shares his New Year's Day Premier League betting tips.
Arsenal vs Cardiff City
Christmas sees a man of dubious facial hair, dressed in red enter your house, drink your alcohol, scoff your mince pies and drop off a few knock-off knick-knacks to shut the kids up for a few hours. Thankfully, we can all have done with the unseemly business in one night.
Cardiff however, have Vincent Tan.
Every day. All year round. For all the benefits of having such a wealthy benefactor, was it really worth inviting him into your house to have it all turned upside down and beyond recognition? All you’re left with is a laborious clean-up process, hoovering up the fake snow and hunting scraps of wrapping paper in numerous crevices. This is Cardiff’s world. Best take tips from a proper team in red. Happy holidays!
Arsenal 4 – Cardiff City 0
Liverpool vs Hull City
Praise be, Luis Suarez is reformed. Resurrected, even. How very seasonal of him to oblige with such feats of religious wonder. Just a shame that he seems to have confused Easter with Christmas. If you’re a believer it probably makes no difference, however. Everywhere, the faithful have been lining up to celebrate the birth of the Christ Child whilst conveniently forgetting the pagan origins of the midwinter festival that came before it.
Which ties in neatly with Liverpool. Top of the league on Christmas Day, falling behind in the space of a few days straight after. It feels as though they’ve finally woken up from the illusion/delusion of putting their faith in a celestial entity and now they’ve realised they’re all alone in an unforgiving universe. Ready to be thrown now to ravenous tigers. That’s nature for you.
Liverpool 1 – Hull City 2
Southampton vs Chelsea
However pleasing their early season form may have been, there’s a niggling feeling that Southampton’s will soon be dispatched to the attic with all the other Christmas decorations. There’s always a ‘smaller’ team that dazzles in the opening throes of the campaign but once the depression and bitterness of January set in, it’s a steady decline into mid-table comfort. If only they could have prepared for the winter.
No such problems for Chelsea. The sales are due to begin and Mourinho is certain to tread over the throng in order to get that flashy new adornment he’s had his eye on. And you know, he’s happy to pay over the odds too. How depressing. That’s Blue Monday, for you.
Southampton 0 – Chelsea 2
Manchester United vs Tottenham Hotspur
We keep deluding ourselves that with the turning of the year, certain aspects of our lives must change. One person’s faddy diet is another’s nicotine patch. Regardless, we all know deep down that all this is as futile as resisting a hefty transfer bid from Real Madrid.
So, whilst Spurs may have seen a slight upturn in fortunes since Andre Villas-Boas was ousted, we can all sleep soundly that Spurs will enter 2014 with the same propensity for self-destruction that is so characteristic of the club. By March, they’ll be screaming for Sherwood’s head at White Hart Lane and Levy will probably oblige.
As for United, how the mockers have revelled in their stuttering campaign so far. We know how it works, mind. After Christmas. Win, win, win, win. Premier League wrapped up by April. Same as it ever was.
Manchester United 3 – Tottenham Hotspur 2
New Year's Day Premier League Odds - Odds as at 1st January 2014.
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Follow Greg on Twitter: @Sofalife
And read more of his work on his blog DispatchesFromAFootballSofa.com