Haye vs Bellew: War of the Words
Although Haye and Bellew are only in the ring for one night, their fight has been going on for quite some time. It seems that boxing and UFC has some of the greatest smack talkers in the world of sport—and even though Haye is favoured by bookmakers to win in the ring, has he won in the War of the Words ahead of the match?
We’ve made a selection of some of our favourite smack talking quotes from both Haye and Bellow to see who wins the smack talk smack down. In three rounds, we will see who the overall winner is based on their performance in the following categories: Imagery, Creativity, and Personal Blows.
Round 1: Imagery
Although these juggernauts are famous for talking with their fists, their use of imagery in their smack talk is quite impressive.
Haye seems to draw on violence and anger as the inspiration for his smack talking. It’s like he has taken been binge watching Game Thrones with the level of violence he’s depicting—stating things such as, “I’ve never wanted to cave someone’s skull in like this”, and “I’m gonna break your head, I’m gonna smash your f****** head in. This right hand is going through your f****** head.” Although it seems quite violent, credit must be given to image he is creating—you can’t help but imagine the scenario.
Bellow, on the other hand, refers to other sources for his insults. Comparing Haye to cartoon characters such as “SpongeBob Squarepants” and “Sideshow Bob”, he is able to present the image of Haye as being almost comical in his smack talking.
Honestly, the vivid imagery conjured up by Haye is terrifying and hard to ignore. Haye easily wins the first round.
Round 2: Creativity
To win this round, the insultor must exhibit a wide range and wit in their smack talking.
Haye’s comments, although very illustrative, do lack some diversity. Although he is creative within the topic of violence, he rarely leaves that field. Everything tends to be focused on “smashing”, “caving”, etc. He does however make a creative leap, comparing Bellew to “one of those crazy people who go on X Factor and think they’re Mariah Carey.”
As previously mentioned, Bellew seems to be a fan of pop culture and draws his inspiration from it. He compares Haye to a clown in multiple ways, as well as calling him “a night club whore, the biggest diva in boxing.” He furthers his diva comparison by also comparing him to Mariah Carey (although it’s worth noting that Haye used the Mariah quip first).
Even with the disadvantage of reusing the Mariah Carey comment after Haye, Bellew offers much more creative diversity. He stretches outside the ring of boxing for his comebacks, and that’s why he’s the winner of this round.
Round 3: Personal blows
This round is all about getting personal. To win, the insultors must really get gritty and target their smack talking where it really hurts.
When it comes to getting personal, Haye focuses more on making Bellew fear for his personal wellbeing. Again, he rehashes the same violent tone throughout all of his smack talk snippets. But when it comes to funny nick names, Haye clearly wins by calling Bellew, Tony ‘the Bellend’ Bellew.
When it comes to a rebuttal for nicknames, Bellew loses his footing a bit. In response to his nickname, Bellew shouts back “I’d say Hayemaker but it’s ‘Haye-faker’ because he’s pulled out of that many fights over the last years.” Sorry to say Bellew, but that response is about as worthy as saying “I’m rubber and you’re glue”—plus, having to explain why your joke is funny is a good indicator that it doesn’t really work.
Nick names may not be Bellew’s forte, but some of his other smack talk hits really deep. He scratches the surface by insulting his hair and looks (“The way you’ve turned up you look completely broke. All you are missing is the copy of the Big Issue.”), but then he cuts straight to core:
“He’s a clown, a lonely, broken, lost man with no one around who cares enough to open their mouth and tell him what he has been saying is wrong.”
Haye’s insults may invoke physical fear, but Bellew is soul crushing. One thing is to insult a man’s hair-do, but to call out that a person is living in a sad illusion of a fake nurturing environment and break down his constitution is simply heart breaking.
Even though his comeback skills are equal to Anchorman’s Brick Tamland, Bellew snapped the heart strings of Haye’s entire being in one single quip.
Overall Victor: Bellew
In the War of the Words, you need to think outside of the ring. Although Haye has said some violently brutal things to Bellew, he isn’t as creative as his opponent. Bellew’s insults go beyond throwing verbal punches, and that’s why he is the final victor.
But the real winner will be determined this Saturday night. If Haye’s words are representative of his actual actions, Bellew needs to be on the defensive.
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